*warning…this story is kinda graphic…with a graphic photo at the end…so if you are a queasy person, I urge you to stop reading now 🙂 If you’re not queasy…keep reading, I am amazed by what I have learned*

So the other day, I was making sweet potato tacos for dinner. As I was chopping up the sweet potato, the knife slipped and cut off about a quarter of the tip of my finger. It hurt SO bad…I thought I was going to pass out. I screamed, I yelled some expletives…and it was the worst pain that I had personally experienced (aside from childbirth.) Then…as I finally got the bleeding to stop by the help of my best friend and her family…it went numb. The pain was still there slightly, but there really wasn’t much pain. The next day, as I was going to change the dressing, I noticed that the gauze was stuck to the wound. It wouldn’t come off, no matter WHAT I tried. Per Dr. Google, I tried soaking it in saline, soaking it in olive oil, and finally soaking it in hydrogen peroxide…which finally got the job done. The peroxide soak was the most painful thing ever. It hurt more than when I sliced my finger. But ever since then, I feel SO much better. The wound has started to heal…it still hurts a little bit, but I know in just a few short days…it will be healed. It may never look the same as it did, but it won’t hurt and will be functional again.

I have noticed that this is such an amazing metaphor for the past year of my life. When my ex left, it hurt SO bad. I thought I would die. I was so upset…and after a little while, I went numb. I tried to find my self worth in another person (as a bandaid) and that was not ok. When we made some bad decisions, it ripped that wound back open again. It hurt so much….much like that gauze getting ripped off of my wound. Then, I turned to Jesus. Wanting to know more about Him…wanting to be close to Him. I want to please Him in everything that I do, and not be of the flesh. My wound in my heart is finally healed…and although it may never look the same as it once did, it’s not hurting anymore. I am not worrying about finding my self worth in anyone but Him, because that is all that matters. I am ready to love again. My heart is functional again.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” – Psalm 73:26